Are we happy yet?
Learn about McKinney's latest wearable, and the ideas that couldn't hack it.
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'Tis the season to be jolly. But how do you know when you are? Meet Jölly, the wearable Santa beard jolliness tracker. Utilizing adhesive electrodes, JöLLY monitors expressions and tracks them on the JöLLY mobile app. Users can see their smile metrics appear in real time, informing and encouraging their merriness goals for the season and jolliness resolutions for the new year.
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fig. 1
Wee Pee Tree
Dogs have a strong appreciation for Christmas trees. To steer that appreciation in a more festive direction, the Wee Pee Tree would play music and dispense a treat when peed upon. This would reduce the amount of canine urine on the family tree, before and after the big day (our sanitation workers deserve pee-free trees).
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fig. 2
Snowden Globe
It's a flurry — a flurry of leaked documents. Every time you shake your phone with the Snowden Globe app open, tiny papers flutter about the Kremlin, finally bubbling up a link to an actual leaked document.
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fig. 3
Roaming Mistletoe
Mistletoe is festive, but no one decorates with it anymore because kissing someone carries a lot of weight. Expectations, awkwardness. The solution? A fleet of mistletoe delivery men and women available to show up, kiss you under the mistletoe and never be seen again. Think of it as the Uber of making out.
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fig. 4
Rent-a-McKinneyite
It's a shoppable, streaming feed of the McKinney office. Click on any McKinney employee and pay them to do your bidding.
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fig. 5
Streaming Bells
Hundreds of bells, wired to a central Arduino, streaming live. Each viewer will be assigned a specific bell, and every time they "heart" the feed, their bell will ring, resulting in a responsive, live-streaming global bell choir.
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fig. 6
UgLED Sweater
A sweater-mounted light display that reacts to any ambient music.
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fig. 7
The Ugly Tree
It's a facial-recognition brooch that collects grimace data of onlookers, quantifying how ugly the sweater it's pinned to is. Now, ugly sweater parties have an impartial judge.
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DISCLAIMER: McKinney accepts no responsibility for any or all injuries or severe, inalterable nerve damage that may or may not result from the trial of, attempted trial of, and/or intent to try Jölly.
Also, due to what might be a very long queue, we cannot guarantee that a request made here or in any form in any medium will necessarily result in an appointment.